We had a great afternoon yesterday with Doug Mather speaking about business development issues at Denbies Wine Estate in Dorking.
The professionals and business owners in the room were treated to what I think can best be described as both an interesting and at times “uncomfortable” session.
Interesting because Doug is very good at getting a message across through life experiences of how people respond to one another in business situations.
He looks at this from both sides. What am I thinking? How am I thinking this? (Is it based on my background and my experiences?) Who am I being? (Myself or someone I want the listener to believe I am?)
Doug then explained that we all do this and that includes our client sitting opposite us.
So both the customer and the provider sometimes enter into what Doug describes as “an accidental relationship” and only over time (if time is available) does the relationship evolve into something that is properly designed.
This is because we all have the ability to make instant judgements about whether or not we like someone.
By asking what our clients actually want from the relationship it is more likely that we will deliver the super service that they are seeking.
Doug describes the successful provider of services as being someone who has the following five attributes;
1 – they are competent;
2 – they are very good at listening;
3 – they treat people fairly;
4 – they are authentic;
5 – they are responsive.
Why was the afternoon uncomfortable? Well we carried out a short role play in pairs where one person spoke for just a minute about something they were interested in and the other person demonstrated through body language that sent out the message “I am really not interested”.
It was incredibly hard to speak when the person opposite was sending out such negative vibes!!
As Doug explained, human beings are natural when it comes down to demonstrating empathy through body language and it is so easy to see when someone is not interested in what you have to say.
It was a session that made all of us think hard about what we have to say.
