Informed Choice introduces telepathy
Following a successful pilot study, Informed Choice is today introducing the use of telepathy to compliment our existing advice process.
The team has been working with leading Parapsychologist Dr Thera Pist to sharpen their collective sixth sense and improve the accuracy of this often misunderstood technique.
From today, telepathy will replace the use of financial questionnaires in our process to understand client needs and objectives.
We eventually aim to replace our client reporting with telepathy as well, with meetings held remotely and the recommendations transmitted directly to the minds of our clients.
Informed Choice managing director Martin Bamford commented:
“We believe that we are the first firm of Chartered Financial Planners in the world, possibly excluding America, to add extrasensory perception to our toolkit.”
“At first some of our clients were sceptical, but once they discovered how much time could be saved using this method, they were delighted.”
Our next pilot study will look at whether our use of paranormal abilities can be expanded to accurately predict the movements of investment markets or the introduction of new financial services regulation.
The use of telepathy is not current regulated by the Financial Services Authority (FSA), although we understand they are keeping a watching brief on these emerging techniques.
We expect to see telepathy mentioned in the next FSA Business Plan, along with a budget request to establish a new team to oversee the use of telepathy in retail financial services.
Any individual who is interested in becoming a new client of Informed Choice should complete our new client enquiry form or simply close their eyes and concentrate on their pension.
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